How Pleasure will save you (from) years of Pain...


Ever wondered why some people are so damn happy

while others (maybe even you) suffer?


I'm sitting here in a cafe with a stunning view on the beach of Mazunte, Mexico.

The sun is starting to set, beautiful music in the background and un jugo del dia, a juice of the day, with pineapple, maracuia and ginger standing next to me.

I'm seeing the same view as the people next to me.

I'm breathing the same air as the people next to me.

I'm feeling internally very calm and content.

Feeling alive, full of pleasure and tingling.

The couple next to me is arguing and complaining.

It's too hot and the room not as they expected.

my working view from el arquitecto cafe :)

my working view from el arquitecto cafe :)

I'm travelling on a low budget with no financial security.

I'm super tired with swollen joints because of my auto immune disease.

I don't know a single person here and am missing cuddling.

I'm having a huge smile on my face and am happy like a clam.

The couple next to me stopped arguing and is in silence now.

Both looking in different directions with grumpy faces.

So...why am I not grumpy and full of fear and a bad mood that I have physical pain and no stable income?



Day over day again. Moment for moment.


Don't we all know that?

People in the seemingly same situation being in totally different internal moods.

People with much more difficult circumstances being even in a better mood than the others.

(If you don't know what I'm talking about, simply travel to India! The poorest of the poorest with almost no future prospects having a calm soul smile on their face, while the rich tourist is complaining.)

SO…What is the difference?

Why is your neighbour with the small flat and no girlfriend so much more happy than you?

How come that your friend who just lost her job is full of trust and optimism? Shouldn't she be concerned? Is that not, what you would do?

What's wrong with you? What secret are they getting and you not?

Would you not like to be as happy as them?

What if I tell you that it is no secret at all?

It's not even difficult.

Maybe it is even too easy to comprehend.

Can that really be all?

Yes. YES. YES!

Shift your focus!

It's all about joy. Joy and pleasure!

All that time that you are using to focus on your problems and what is NOT working....use that to focus on the beautiful things in your life!

And yes - I am well aware of the fact that often our life's seem to be not in our favour at all.

The pain seems so much bigger than the pleasure that is available.

I've been there myself.

I AM there myself.

But I can choose.

And so can you!

The power to choose your focus is the one and only secret!


If you try to get rid of your pain, of your problems, of your struggle, of your disease, of your debts, of your fear....all your focus and energy goes into that.

Do you really want to fuel THAT container?

Why don't you choose to fill the other container? The container that loves life.

Why don't you choose to grow the things on the "positive" list, so that they will automatically kick out the other unpleasant stuff that is holding you back and creating blockages and suffering?

So what to do practically?

  1. accept your pain, stop fighting it!

  • Instead of trying to get rid of your physical pain, focus on experiencing physical pleasure.

  • You don't even have to change a lot. Keep on doing what you do.

    Go to your massage. Go to the sauna. Take your medicine. Go to your psychologist. Do whatever you are used to do to get rid of the pain.

    Whether that is physical, emotional, spiritual or mental pain.

  • But instead of thinking that you are doing this to get rid of the pain, think "I am going to the sauna, because it feels so good!", " I am going to the massage because I enjoy it so much and am gifting this to myself." - Don’t do it for your pain - DO IT FOR YOURSELF!

  • Stop dwelling in your own misery. And yes - I 'm saying that with confidence. Cause I have been there.

    Stop holding on to your pain.

    Don't focus on getting rid of the pain. All your focus is on pain, Pain, PAIN then.


And if you are still holding on to some parts of your pain...

2. Be honest and ask yourself:

WHY am I still holding on to the pain?

What benefit am I still getting out of it?

If you wouldn't be getting any benefit out of it, you would not be doing it! That's not how we humans work.

So...what goodies are you still getting out of it?

  • Maybe your pain is a perfect excuse to not step into your full power and responsibility.

  • Maybe your pain is allowing you to rest and not do anything.

  • Staying small and getting attention.

  • Not having to make a decision.

  • Not having to grow up.

3. shift your focus consciously from pain to pleasure!

Whatever it is....if you don't consciously decide to shift your focus FROM PAIN TO PLEASURE - I'm sorry to say that so harsh - but then nothing will ever change.

  • Don't focus on getting rid of the pain. All your focus is on pain, Pain, PAIN.

  • Focus on joy and pleasure, Pleasure, PLEASURE.

  • Spend more time on nourishing yourself than on thinking about your problems.

  • It doesn't have to be long or expensive. Nature and taking a walk is for free. Smelling a flower with all your senses takes 2 minutes (okay - you can do that also for an hour! ;) ) and is for free.

  • Caressing your own hand while you are waiting for the bus is free and takes no extra time at all.

  • Cooking your dinner with love, instead of get the idea.

I believe….EVERYBODY CAN! - you just have to choose to do so! :)

I believe….EVERYBODY CAN! - you just have to choose to do so! :)

4. and now…Transform your pain into pleasure! - Be a Pleasure Alchemist!

As said before the most important thing is to first accept your pain!

To not fight against yourself, but accept ALL parts of you. Love all parts of yourself. Be grateful for ALL your parts and your Wholeness.

Your pain is part of you and wants to tell you something!

Your pain is part of your journey here on this world and is your teacher. Listen carefully.

Make your biggest weakness, your biggest strength.

In all your fears and shadows there lie some true treasures, strengths and super powers that you own.

Turn the led into gold!

Be a Pleasure Alchemist!

  • Turn your fear into courage.

  • Turn your physical and emotional pain and hurt into compassion. Into self love and patience.

  • Turn the pain of your loneliness into connection.

  • Turn the pain of your anger into power and dedication.

  • Jealousy into Care.

  • Moodiness into Flow.

  • Exhaustion into patience and motivation.

Use your pain as a game changer and kick-in-the-ass to uplevel yourself :)

Start giving what you want to receive!

5. You want pleasure? - Give yourself pleasure!

Be the source!

See the world through eyes of pleasure.

Start small and grow it every month, week, day a bit more.

Shift your focus and see what magic happens form there!

Love, Sanya



…if you want to know more, always feel free to ask me for support!…