7 essentials for magical Self Pleasure Rituals


Self Pleasure Magic

What is the most underestimates Super Power we humans have?…right! Self Pleasure!

Conscious self pleasure. Something quite different to masturbation.

I use the term masturbation for a little quickie with yourself which has the main intention and the inspiration from exploding into an orgasm. A quick release. Which is ok. Sometimes.

Many women and men experience after this relatively quick high of endorphins and that intense shower of hormones that an orgasm actually is, an equally strong low. A low of energy. Some people even describe to feel depressive afterwards. Or having a sensation of shame and guilt. Like they just did something forbidden, that must be kept a secret. Something utterly wrong and dirty. Remember that voice of your mum when she found you playing with yourself when you were younger? Or the repetitive voice of the pastor who was making anything pleasurable a sin. You deserve the punishment.

So many of us go into self pleasure rather quick and in secret, that conscious, loving, sensual and excited.

When you experience arousal or have an orgasm, your body releases endorphins, which are hormones that block pain and make you feel good and oxytocine which is also called the love hormone.


Some of the benefits of masturbation and self pleasure are:

  • best research ever of what you like sexually

  • good against depressive feelings

  • release sexual tension

  • reduces stress

  • can boost your energy if you avoid explosive orgasms (clitoral orgasm and ejaculation)

  • better sleep

  • improved self-esteem and body image

  • helps to treat sexual problems

  • relieve menstrual cramps and muscle tension

  • strengthen muscle tone in your pelvic and anal areas


So here come my 7 essentials for a magical Self Pleasure Ritual with yourself

1 - Make sure you have enough time

As with any other important appointment in your life you want to make sure that you have enough time! Ideally you have something around at least an hour, but I recommend a minimum of twenty minutes.

Make sure you don’t have to rush away afterwards. If you have a very busy life that requires planning….MAKE A DATE WITH YOURSELF! Put it in your calendar and most importantly….don’ t cancel it! YOU have the right to be priority.

2 - Create a sensual space for yourself

Before starting you want to create a beautiful and sensual space for yourself. Whatever that means to YOU! Some general ideas are classics like incense, candles, a cozy lightning, warm enough temperature (!) and maybe even some music. Another important ting to not forget is to check that you feel comfortable with your position in the room regarding windows or see-throughs. Or simply cover them. Create a beautiful cave for yourself in any way that makes you feel relaxed and sensual.

3 - Be your own Lover

Now…this is almost the most important one!

I say it again. BE. YOUR. OWN. LOVER!

Imagine you would take yourself on a date. How would you like everything to be arranged? The space? The music?

And most importantly…the touch!?!

I hear so often complaints from women that men touch their breasts and pussy way to quick and early. And then when we self pleasure….soooo many of us go straight to our pussy or clitoris. No foreplay. No warm up. Hey! - how do you want to be touched by a lover? Give that to yourself first!

You want to be seduced and conquered!

4 - Start to touch yourself very slowly

So what can you do to seduce yourself?

Start slowly! Allow energy and tension to build up.


Allow your body a warm up, your nervous system to calm down and your mind to detach from the passed day.

Beautiful ways to start this session with yourself are to do some meditation, conscious breathing, dancing (maybe even in front of a mirror? See! - how amazing you are!) or having a bubble bath.

Whenever you feel ready to become more intimate with yourself my invitation for you is to start veeeery slowly. Take some oil, warm it u between your palms and then place your hand on your chest or belly or wherever you feel the calling to.

Breathe into it.

Feel the touch of your hands on your skin

Feel the touch of your skin on your hands.

Don’t rush anything.

Start to slowly explore more body parts. Feeling into the touch and noticing how your body is reacting. Full self awareness.

5 - Be aware that this session has NO goal

The goal of this session is NOT to have an orgasm!

You surely can have one, but don’t make it a goal!

This time is for you to experience pleasure in your whole body. To get to know it’s hidden erogenous corners, to feel the orgasmic energy in your bell or maybe elbow?

Feel into the freedom of not having a goal. Nothing t do. Nothing to achieve. Pure feeling and being.

6 - Be curious and explore

You can experiment with different kinds of touch.

Soft or firm, tingly or scratchy, fluid or…

Or maybe you want to practice with your Yoni Egg, Crystal Wand or Thera Wand?

Tie yourself up or blindfold yourself.

Feed yourself some chocolate or fruit or simply hug and hold yourself.

You can experiment with different movements, sound and breath.

Or watch yourself in a mirror or, for the more adventurous ones amongst you, be watched by someone else.

What is it that you want IN THIS VERY MOMENT?

Don’t be shy and allow yourself to have that.

7 - Rest and integrate

After you finished your play take at least 10 minutes to rest and integrate. Similar to the savasana in yoga. Simply lying down in stillness, being present to your sensations and allowing yourself to feel whatever is there.

Maybe you even want to take some notes afterwards or write down some of your most beautiful or challenging moments or insights you had.


It is very important to remind yourself that this is a practice and that ALL KIND OF EMOTIONS or feelings can come up and are more than WELCOME! Stay present to them, don’t push them away, breath into them and then allow them to be released or fade away. Simply observing,

Enjoy this time with yourself! Make it a habit. and most importantly…have fun with it! This is NOT just another to do on your list! This is a treat for yourself! Because you are worth it. Because you care about yourself. Because you love yourself.

Hugs, Sanya